


Pretty Girls and Pumpkin Pie

by dammitspawk



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Transporter Fic, halloween fic, tumblr prompt fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 02:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4902478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dammitspawk/pseuds/dammitspawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheppard just rolled his eyes as he jabbed the transporter console. The doors closed as Rodney kept ranting and John waited for the bright white flash that would take them closer to the mess hall and closer to the food that would fill Rodney’s mouth instead of the trail of words that seemed to never cease.</p><p>And waited.</p><p>And waited.</p><p>John’s brow went into an automatic furrow when he realized perhaps the doors were not going to open and bring him freedom from Rodney’s rant about Dr. Dickinson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretty Girls and Pumpkin Pie

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr prompt fill from an anon who asked:
> 
> John and Rodney, trapped in a transporter on their way to the Atlantis holiday party!
> 
> So here it is! Enjoy and work has not been beta'd so all mistake are mine.

“Come on Rodney, she’s just in the spirit.”

“So? That does not give her the right to A) run around my lab wearing that ridiculous hat and B) randomly pop up and starting signing the _Monster Mash_ every five minutes! The last two months with her were fine, she’s not as much of a brainless washout as the others, and she does what she’s told. I was even considering promoting her from Zelenka’s assistant to mine, but after this! Ooooh no, she’s getting sent back to Earth as soon as we have another scheduled dial out…”

Sheppard just rolled his eyes as he jabbed the transporter console. The doors closed as Rodney kept ranting and John waited for the bright white flash that would take them closer to the mess hall and closer to the food that would fill Rodney’s mouth instead of the trail of words that seemed to never cease.

And waited.

And waited.

John’s brow went into an automatic furrow when he realized perhaps the doors were not going to open and bring him freedom from Rodney’s rant about Dr. Dickinson.

Rodney hadn’t even noticed the transporter hadn’t worked until he went to step out of it and nearly walked into the the still firmly closed doors mid rant.

“What the?”

John sighed because he knew what was coming next.

“Oh come _on!_ I leave the lab for what _one minute_ and already that clusterfuck of idiots break the city!”

John knew he was in a bad enough mood from Dickinson’s excited halloween spirit and this seemed to be the icing on the cake. To be honest John didn’t find Dickinson that bad. In fact he found her one of the more tolerable of the scientists. Not that he’d ever mention it to Rodney.

John tried not to think of the fall feast that awaited them in the mess hall. Since they now had reliable contact with Earth, it seemed that a lot of Earth values had returned to the personnel on the base. One of those things was celebrating holidays. And with being able to walk back and forth through the gate and travel between Earth and Atlantis instantaneously without a three week delay it also meant that things like holiday decorations, streamers, costumes made it through with relative ease as well. But so did food.

Which is why they were having a halloween party complete with a dinner of roast duck with cranberries and _pumpkin pie._

John tried not to think of these things as Rodney yelled into his radio for Zelenka and John had the sinking feeling they would be stuck in there for a while.

“Well switch to _auxiliary power_. … Of course there is I did it myself! … Who was the idiot who hit it anyway? Wait no I don’t want to know. I want to know who let them in there in the first place! … How are you this hopeless? I would go down there and do it _myself_ and have it done in five minutes if I could- … I don’t care go now anyway! Mckay out.”

Rodney angry tapped at his earpiece but looked like he wanted to yank it off and throw it off the nearest balcony instead.

“So,” John was almost afraid to ask, “what’s the deal?”

“Some idiots thought it would be _fun_ to have a haunted house in one of the empty labs on the West Pier. And of course with all the lights out some dumbass tripped and stumbled into a console that happens to override the control for the city’s _entire power grid!_ It shut down the city’s main computer system and Zelenka can’t control it from the labs so he’s going to reboot it manually from the source.”

John could tell Rodney was seething.

“I bet it was _Dickinson._ ” He spat.

John turned toward him. “Jeez Rodney, what do you have against her?”

Rodney turned toward him shocked.

“What do you mean _what_. Did you not hear that entire list of convictions earlier?” John didn’t mention how Rodney had also said he was considering promoting her. “Then there’s the fact that she drinks all my coffee and never refills the pot when she’s done-“ John didn’t point out that Rodney never refilled the pot either, “and that she stays in the labs late when it’s _my time_ to be a genius _alone_ ” John also didn’t point out how Rodney always picked on his scientists for not working as hard or long as he did, “and then how she _fawns_ all over you when you come into the lab!”

“Woah, woah, woah.” John said, “ _Fawns over me_ Rodney?” Sure she’d always made a point to say hi to him whenever he came down to visit Rodney but he’d never gotten more than a greeting and a friendly smile before she’d gone back to work and he’d collected Rodney. He was no more _fawned over_ by her than he was by Zelenka.

“Oh come on like you don’t notice her throwing herself at you every time you come into the lab _Kirk._ I’m surprised you haven’t taken her up yet.” Then suddenly Rodney’s face dropped. “Oh my _god!_ You haven’t have you?” John stayed in shocked silence. “You have! What no way! How long has this been going on? _Are you sleeping together?”_

John’s hands flew out to grab Rodney’s shoulders.

“No Rodney we are not sleeping together! God, I don’t even know her first name!“

“So- so you’re not.. sleeping with her?”

“No!” Sheppard yelled back at him. So that’s what this was about. Jealousy.

“Oh… okay then.”

“It’s all right McKay, you can have her all for yourself,” John assured him with a mite of bitterness in his voice as he let go of Rodney’s shoulders and faced the still shut transporter doors. “How long did Zelenka say it would take him to fix this?”

“What?”

“I said how long-“

“I don’t want to date her,” McKay took him by surprise.

This time it was John’s turn to say, “What?”

“I don’t want to-“

“Yeah I heard you,” he cut off. If it wasn’t jealousy then what the hell was it? “Then what’s the problem?”

“Nothing. No problem.”

_“McKay.”_

“Seriously its nothing. I’m just glad you know- you weren’t- ah- sleeping with her. I mean- she wouldn’t be good for you. Out of your league,” Rodney kept his eyes locked on the doors.

“I wouldn’t date her anyway,” John said, gaze slipping to the floor.

“You wouldn’t?”

“No.”

“Why not? What’s wrong with her? I mean she’s smart and pretty and she obviously likes you, what gives?” What was Rodney upset that he _wasn’t_ sleeping with her now? John sighed again. He just wanted the doors to open and this conversation to end. He really didn’t like where it was heading. And also the pumpkin pie was probably going like hot cakes by now.

“She’s not the one I come down to see all the time Rodney.”

“Oh,” Rodney said shortly, finally silent.

Suddenly a bright white burst surrounded them and the doors opened with a jolt. The excited burbling coming from the mess hall and the scent of roast duck wafted down the corridor.

“Finally,” John said, nearly sprinting out of the transporter. He tried to ignore the fake spider webs and giant plastic arachnids that had been taped to the walls of the corridors and haphazardly hung from the ceilings. It took a moment to realize Rodney wasn’t with him but, upon turning back to the transporter he found the scientist standing frozen in the position he’d left him.

“McKay come on, the duck’s going to be gone by the time we get there. Not to mention the _pie.”_

Rodney seemed to snap out of it and hurried to catch up with Sheppard.

“Oh _pie_ \- Did I ever tell you the time-“

And soon enough Rodney launched into a story about thanksgiving at his grandmothers house and how his sister had nearly burned it down and then carried on about how backwards Americans were and ranted some more on how they held their holidays a month late and thank god that they were having this halloween feast because if he had had to wait until November for a decent fall meal then all hell would have certainly broke loose.

His rant didn’t end until they’d found a table and sat down and John smiled right up until Rodney promptly began to stuff his face. Then he also started to stuff his face.

John was already looking forward to bringing leftovers down to Rodney when he forgot to come up for lunch tomorrow.


End file.
